A Way to Know (almost) Beyond Doubt That Your Husband Is Not Worth Keeping
Updated: Jan 27
"This one time I had surgery and was in complete agony. I asked my husband to take me to the hospital. He just glared at me and said, "I have football today. Can't."
I have football today. Can't.
Five words that tell you all you need to know about the character of this man.
If you are hurting, if you are suffering profusely from unbearable physical pain, if you need your husband to stand by you and he ignores, minimizes, or refuses your request, you can quit mulling over whether or not he's worth staying with.
This is true whether or not the two of you were getting along before your pain started. It is true even if he refused to be there for you in a less douchy way than last time. It is true even if he has been through some really difficult times lately and just "wasn't himself." And it is almost surely true even if he comes along to help you, but pouts and fusses and whines and keeps asking when you'll be better so he can leave.
A person who can remain stubbornly unavailable to their partner in one of their partner's most acute moments of physical need is a person who lacks the capacity for basic empathy.
This is almost definitely not going to change or get better. Little signs that you are interpreting as "improvement" almost certainly aren't.
Could you see a kitten suffering on the side of the road and feel nothing? I doubt it.
If your husband can witness you suffering profoundly and not be moved, he's almost certainly too far gone.
And the thing that is most certain is that he does not love you. I mean, he may "love" you as best he can in his own broken way, but he doesn't really love you.
How do I know? Because "love wills the good of the object." In other words, when you love someone, you want the best for them and do everything in your power to bring that about to the greatest extent of your ability.
Don't waste another day of your life convincing yourself that a person loves you who doesn't show the care for you that most people would show a wounded animal. You're worth far more than that.
The problem is that you don't think so. And that's a big problem. But unlike the AWOL character of the man who's supposed to treasure you above all else, that problem can be fixed.
DISCLAIMER: This post is written in a broad, general sense. It is not intended to be advice to any particular individual or group. There are always exceptions to every general idea. Please consider seeking personal professional guidance before making any life-altering decision.